In last week’s blog, I pointed out that your mindset matters, because it drives your behavior and your response to circumstances in life, good and bad. Dr. Mark Hyman says that “Your mindset is your collection of attitudes, your established approach to life in all ways – how you respond to challenges, how you express gratitude, how you manage your time, and how you take care of yourself are just some of the parts of your life that you can assess to get a better understanding of your mindset.” There are many ways that a growth mindset can be cultivated, and one of them is by practicing mindfulness.
The word mindfulness is everywhere, and seems like a buzz word in the last few years. I like the concept of mindfulness, because its opposite, mindlessness, is where I’ve found myself getting stuck in unhelpful patterns if I’m not careful. Let’s face it, though, mindlessness has its place in life. It’s freeing, and sometimes more efficient, to be able to switch off our brains and not have to think about every single thing we’re doing. For instance, certain daily habits don’t require our full attention, like brushing our teeth or getting dressed, and the ability to perform them on autopilot gives our minds a break. Likewise, driving familiar routes without having to fully concentrate on where we’re going can be more pleasant than paying close attention in traffic or while finding our way somewhere new. Once we reach a level of mastery at something, it comes naturally and we can do it mindlessly. I could write a whole blog on the benefits of mindlessness … it serves a purpose sometimes and offers space for creativity and imagination to flourish, and for our bodies and minds to relax. But, living mindlessly on autopilot all the time by definition means that we’ll miss out on a lot.
What is mindfulness? Expert Jon Kabat-Zinn, defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” Jim Taylor, Ph.D. says that “Quite simply, being mindful allows us to fully experience whatever we are doing and gain the full benefits of what the experience has to offer.”
Given the world we live in today, full of distraction and overstimulation, it makes sense that people are focused on mindfulness. There’s so much information coming at us each day, so many ads, emails, text messages … so much noise! … that we have to tune most of it out, because it’s not humanly possible to process it all. Studies have shown that the average American is bombarded by anywhere from 3500-5000 ads a day through billboards, print advertising, radio, email marketing, social media, internet pop ups, etc – and that number is growing every year. Each ad tells us we aren’t enough and won’t be satisfied until we purchase this life changing thing. If we’re not deliberate about filtering out the non-stop noise and chatter, it’s easy to get swept up and carried away by the world’s agenda for our lives.
Mindfulness can be cultivated, often by practicing meditation or breathing exercises. The benefits of mindfulness have been researched and proven again and again, and include reduced stress, emotional reactivity and rumination, as well as increased memory, focus and overall satisfaction and contentment in life, just to name a few.
Mindfulness isn’t for everyone. It takes courage to pay attention, as growing in awareness makes you painfully aware of the ways living on autopilot is hurtful to yourself and others.
Practicing mindfulness has made me notice all the ways that I tend to simply go through the motions, focusing on tasks instead of people, taking people and life for granted rather than treating them as precious gifts. It felt a little sad to recognize how much I’ve missed out on by living on autopilot. But once I started paying attention and living a more conscious life, I became grateful for deeper connection in my relationships. I noticed how alive I feel when I allow myself to experience emotions without judgment, and how at peace I feel when live in the present moment. I also noticed how much more energy I had when I stopped numbing with mindless busy-ness. So much of the stress I was experiencing in my life was self-imposed. I was doing what I had always done, without challenging whether it still fit with what I wanted for my life. Slowing down, being mindful, and creating more margin in my life helped me to evaluate whether the way I was spending my time and energy aligned with my values, purpose and goals.
Experimenting with mindfulness and practicing it often quickly becomes a habit because it’s so effective. Once a mindfulness habit is developed, many other healthy habits snowball from there. How do you grow in mindfulness?
1. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. “Energy flows where your attention goes.” YOU get to choose your thoughts. So, don’t allow unfiltered thoughts roam around in your mind. Nip negative, self-condemning thoughts in the bud and replace them with positive, affirming thoughts.
2. Pay attention to your judgments. Notice how often you judge yourself and others. You might be shocked at first. Then, swap judgment for curiosity. Judgment can’t exist when you’re truly curious. Curiosity and openness leads to greater acceptance and more grace for yourself and others.
3. Pay attention to your breath. Practicing deep breathing exercises for as little as five minutes once a day helps to decrease cortisol levels and create more peace, as well as improving memory and focus.
4. Pay attention to where you hold stress or tension in your body. Start from the top of your head and move to the tips of your toes, relaxing every part of your body: neck and shoulders, arms and torso, abs and hips, thighs, calves, ankles, feet and toes.
5. Pay attention to where you’re going. Spend time visualizing what you want to create in your life, marriage, family, career, community, etc. Having a vision helps you to identify when you’re on the right track, and when you’ve gotten distracted so you can get back on track quickly.
Training ourselves to pay attention and grow in mindfulness can be transformational, and helps cultivate a growth mindset. Romans 12:2 says “do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” When I began this journey five years ago, the scripture that I used to renew my mind was Philippians 4:8 “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” The next verse says that when you put into practice what you’ve learned, the God of peace will be with you.
May peace be with you today!
